Bailey Home Abounds with Thankfulness

Thank you notes scattered around around an Ashley-sized hole on the living room couch, joyful music filling the room, "thank you, Father" uttered over an evening meal-welcome to the Bailey's.

We live one day at a time, and as I've told many of you, prayer to prayer.  We thrive on the love you show us.  And all the while, our wounded hearts are healing. 

With the numbness beginning to wear off, twinges of grief are felt momentarily.  Pictures of her beautiful smile become harder to look at, and memories of her bring more sadness than joy.  We say a prayer, and push through these times, for we know that we have to feel this pain before we can overcome it. 

Today, a song came to me from seemingly nowhere.  The words poured forth from my lips, "How can I say thanks for the things you have done for me?"  These lyrics are the beginning to "My tribute."  It's a song I haven't thought of in years, it's rarely heard in church services, but as the words came so did a memory, rushing forth like the Amtrak that whizzes past our neighborhood at frightening speeds.

 I was eight years old, Mom was young, vibrant, and healthy.  She was playing the tune on our piano, a bit off key as it was usually in need of tuning.  I was singing (slightly off key to match the piano, of course) with as much strength as my growing lungs could muster.  These days are different. If you catch me singing alone, it's because I've thought I was alone, and somehow I've been fooled (how dare you). However, today was different, I wasn't singing alone, she was singing with me.  I pictured her, and all of her angel friends (she probably has at least a million by now), smiling as they lifted their song.  I now have a heavenly aspiration to join that choir one fine day. 

I have one final thought that brings me peace during this time.  When I become discouraged, when I let my self-doubt tell me how hard it will be to go on without her, I just remind myself of her strength.  I remind myself that somewhere within me is that very same stubbornness of hers that says, "I will not let this get me down."  At times when I feel so fragile, when I feel tossed by the wind of this storm, I think of her courage. 

I lost my Mom during the twenty-sixth year of my life, but I have an excellent model to follow.  She lost her dad at the same age.   

Of all the things she taught me, this may be the greatest lesson she ever gave.  She did not deny that she missed him, or that she always would.  She did not try to hide her sadness, we saw her cry. She did not claim to do it on her own, humility was her middle name.  In all things, she gave God the glory.  In her life, in her joys, in her pain, in her successes, in her failures, in her illness, and finally, in her death, she continued to praise Him.  An illustration of grace, a picture of love, this was my Mom.

"I will extol the Lord at all times; his praise will always be on my lips. My soul will boast in the Lord; let the afflicted hear and rejoice. Glorify the Lord with me; let us exalt his name together." Psalms 34: 1-3

"The righteous cry out; and the Lord hears them; he delivers them from all of their troubles. The Lord is close to the brokenhearted and saves those who are crushed in spirit;"  Psalms 34: 17-18

So much love

Family Members Receive Outpouring of Support

I don't have much to report in the way of Mom's illness.  She continues to sleep a great deal, and is awake only for seconds at a time. 

She is having a very difficult time talking.  If you know my Mom, you know this is probably very frustrating to her.  But we continue to tell her we love her every time we are with her, and that she doesn't have to answer because we know how much she loves us. 

She has had many visitors, and up until yesterday all of them received a "well, hello!"  from her.  She has always loved company, and we know she is glad to see everyone even if she can't show it. 

We are only giving her the medications that are most essential at this point.  We want her to be as comfortable as possible. 

Thanks to all of you who have brought us food (none of us are going hungry), come by to visit, sent flowers, and prayed for us.  We can't even begin to express how much we appreciate your support during this difficult time.  We can feel the love being poured out on our family, and we are more aware of the Father's love for us than ever before. 

Often when I am here at Mom's house I play the piano (or, try anyway) and it's always been a special time for us-she taught me to play, and she has always loved music.  I cam across a favorite hymn of ours and thought I would share the words with you.  They seem to be perfect for the moment. 

"Because He Loves"
William and Gloria Gaither

God sent his son, they called him Jesus;
He came to love, heal, and forgive;
He lived and died to buy my pardon
An empty grave is there to prove my Savior lives.

Because He lives
I can face tomorrow;
Because He lives
All fear is gone;
Because I know He holds the future
And life is worth the living just because He lives

How sweet to hold a newborn baby
And feel the pride, and joy he gives;
But greater still the calm assurance
This child can face uncertain days because he lives


Because He lives
I can face tomorrow;
Because He lives
All fear is gone;
Because I know He holds the future
And life is worth the living just because He lives

And then one day I'll cross the river
I'll fight life's final war with pain
And then as death gives way to victory
I'll see the light of glory and I'll know He lives

Because He lives
I can face tomorrow;
Because He lives
All fear is gone;
Because I know He holds the future
And life is worth the living just because He lives



Hug your family, tell them you love them, and never take one second for granted. 

Homecoming in Philadelphia-Reunion of a Lifetime

For those of you who have been touched, inspired, encouraged, or loved by my beautiful Mom I just wanted to offer a little more information about what has been going on in the past few days. 

This past Sunday we knew something had changed with Mom.  I got a call from my Stepdad and he informed me that she had been sleeping more than ususal and had started dropping things-her hands were  also jerking.

I made plans to travel to Philadelphia Monday morning.  On the way to Philly, though, the decision was made to carry Mom to the UAB hospital-she had been receiving radiation treatments at a clinic affiliated with UAB.  So, I turned my car around, and got back to Birmingham as fast as I could.

When I arrived, she was barely coherent and extremely confused.  Her bloodwork let us know that the cancer in her liver was causing all of her symptoms.  Her ammonia level was elevated and we understood that this was the cause of her disorientation.

She was admitted to the hospital and we began measures to bring her ammonia levels down.  She improved throughout the night, and by Tuesday morning she was able to communicate with us much better.

My brother arrived from Tampa, and was I was so glad that he did because later that morning we were shown Mom's MRI and were told that there was nothing that they could do to treat this terrrible disease.

Shocked and heartbroken, we began discussing what Mom would do if she were able to decide.  After much deliberation we came to the conclusion that she would just want to be at home.  When she was alert enough to bring it up, Craig asked her how she felt about going home and she replied, "nothing sounds more wonderful." My heart was filled with joy. 

So, here we are, back home, all of us together, celebrating Mom.  She continues to fight even though she is exhausted and in more pain than I can imagine.  She is happy to be home, and knows she is loved tremendously.  She hasn't given  up on this fight, or on us, and I know she never will. 

The Lord has been good to us, and I know Jesus has her in his arms this very minute.  Your prayers have given us the strength that we didn't know we had, and the hope that this is all for a reason. 

"I know the plans I have for you says the Lord...to give you a future and a hope" Jeremiah 29:11

Please continue to lift up prayers.  We know He hears them, we know He is answering them according to His perfect plan.

Mom with her "puppy"

Mom and Doyle

Add caption

Being silly at Jermome Tank's

MRI Shows Pathology

As most of you know, Mom has been fighting this cancer battle very courageously.  Today, we learned that her liver is affected. 

Though I've never been punched in the stomach, I'm quite sure I now know how that feels.  She, of course, handled the news as calmly and confidently as she always does. 

So, we continue to press on, knowing that the Lord is watching over us and loving us through this tough time.  Next week (October 7th) we will meet with doctors at the Kirkland clinic in Birmingham.  They are great at Breast Cancer treatment and feel that a new drug will be effective at treating the cancer.  We will learn more next week. 

Thank you all for your love and encouragement.  We need you know more than ever, and we appreciate your prayers more than you know. 

Mom when we were children.  Isn't she lovely?

All grown up, and she's just as beautiful. 



Mom in the Chemo room.  Always smiling.  Always positive.  Love her. 



Newest Bailey Fails at Keeping "In Touch"

Until now. 

As a result of visiting with friends and family this past weekend, I have discovered I, Ashley Brown Bailey, am not skilled at keeping everyone informed of life events. 

Please allow me to share several theories as to the origin of this claim.

1. In my mind, news related to my life seems not so "news-worthy" so I default to keeping it to myself.
2. (Related to #1) I don't want to trouble everyone with "boring" facts about myself, or impose in any way.
3. I forget things.
4. I tend to become overwhelmed when faced with the possibilty of leaving an important person of the "must-share" list and so, for the sake of fairness, I tell no one. 

Today, though, friends and loved ones, that all changes.  You CAN teach and old dog new tricks. 

Let me introduce to you "the blog." I want you all to know what is going on in our lives, and from this day forward nothing is irrelevant.  We love you and want you to be a part of these exciting (sometimes boring) times.  I won't promise to update every day, and maybe not even every week.  But I will update, oh yes. 

So, here it is, post (or in this case, news article) number one.  Just enough content to peak your curiosity about the happenings in the lives of the Bailey's. 

Until next time, Hail State!